chotu from HYDERABAD

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name
is Chotu. His father is ambitious to educate Chotu.
Chotu goes to school located in Tappachaputra. Its
principal is educated in Urdu high school and claims
that he passed tenth class!
There is a school inspection thenext day and the
conversation is as follows :

Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa
(questions) puchinga. Sab
achchaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa
tho main uske pairaan thodtoon.

Chotu: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai
hai usku? Kya
kochchanaa puchta kathey?

Teacher: Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school
aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo
khola to gaaliaan nikaltay. Tereku main absent nai
daalthaun. Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu
school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney mere izzat
ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.

So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his
father that he is not
going to school the next day.

Father: Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan dabba hai?
Gaand pay maartoon
saale tu ischool nai gaya to.

Chotu: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.

Father: Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool
nai jayinga kathey kal. Agar ino ischool nai gaya to
kaise padhinga?
Chotu, agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere
haathan pairaan thod
daaltaun.

So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school.
Next day at inschool,

Teacher is very upset to see Chotu back:

Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi
kyun aaya re?

Chotu: Mera bava gaand phodtaon bola ischool nai
gaya to.

Teacher: offo?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last
bench pe baith aur
inispector aya to chup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi
gadbad karinga naa meri noukri gaand lag jayingi.

So Chotu goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind
a tall guy.
Inspector comes for the visit.

Inspector: Adaab.

Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab.
Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte.

Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever(clever) hai
aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal -
Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?

Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!

Imtiyaz: Saab, Kaleja saab..

Inspector: Aisa! ...... woh kyun?

Imtiyaz: Saab, kaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh
gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab.

Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?

Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.

Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to
kuch yaad nahin rehta saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam
nai karthey,iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar sakthey
saab.

Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku
tu. Chutiye ke jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!

In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide
but Inspector sees him. He thinks Chotu is hiding
because he does not know the answer.

Inspector: Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa
woh pottey ka naam kya hai?

Teacher: kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku,
kaiku dikhaa re tu) Woh Chotu hai saab.

Inspector: Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se
lagaathey re bhai
naamaan! Chotu, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup
raa tu?

Chotu: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab.

Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??

Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku
maarthaum aapku. Ye
potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey
Chotu, answer maloom hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh
baith jaa mere baap tere pau padthaum.

Chotu: Saab answer Gaand hai saab.

Teacher: Allah!! Ino moo khola to meri gaand lag
gayi re!!!

Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar
badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich
sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan kaa
answer hai re?

Chotu: Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai.
Kaiku boletho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb
phata....Yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand phat
thi....Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru
hothey....wahaan new city mein sabki gaand phat thi
gadbadaan wahaan phailtey kyaaki bolkey. Uttaa kyoon
saab,main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki
gaand phatrai dekho!