E Khuda Aaj Ye Faisla Karde,
Use Mera ya Mujhe Uska Karde.
Bahut Dukh Sahe He Maine,Koi Khusi Ab Toh Muqadar Karde.
Bahot Muskil Lagta Hai Usse Duur Rehna,Judai Ke Safar Ko Kum Karde.
Jitna Duur Chale Gaye Woh Mujhse,Use Utna Kareeb Karde.
Nahi Likha Agar Nasib Me Uska Naam,To Khatam Kar Ye Zindagi aur Mujhe FANAA Karde.

Ankhen to pyar me dilki zuban hoti hai,sachi chahat to sada bezuban hoti hai,pyar mai dard bhi mile to kya gabrana,suna hai dard se chahat aur jawan hoti hai....

Phool hun Gulaab kaâ?
Chameli ka mat samjhnaâ?
Aashiq hun aapkaâ?
Apni Saheli ka mat samjhnaâ

Bekhudi Ki Zindagi Hum Jiya Nahi Karte,
Yun kisika ka Jaam Hum Piya Nahi Karte.
Unse Kehdo Mohabbat Ka Izhaar Aakar Khud Karein,Yun Kisika Peecha Hum Nahin Karteâ

RONE DE TU AAJ HAMAKO
TU AANKHE SUJANE DE
BAHO ME LELE AUR KHUD KO BHEEG JANE DE
HAI JO SEENE ME QUAID DARIYA WO CHUT JAYEGA
HAI ITANA DARD KI TERA DAMAN BHEEG JAYEGA..

Dur Humse Jaa Paoge Kaise,
Humko Bhool Paoge Kaise.
Hum Who Khushbu Jo Saanson Mein Utar Jaye,
Khud Apni Saanson Ko Rok Paoge Kaise..

tere dil mein meri saanson ko jagah mil jaaye
tere ishq mein meri jaan fanaa ho jaayea
dhoori saans thi dhadkan adhoori thi
adhooren hammagar ab chaand poora hain falak pe aur ab pooren hain ham

One thing's for sure: if someone is to up-end Federer, they better leave it all on the table and hope Roger left his favourite deck of cards back at his hotel.

If you cannot completely control points against Federer, you can forget about winning, because, not only is he a standout offensive player, but he moves so nimbly that he can go from defence to offence in the wink of an eye.

The heights by great men reached and kept,
were not attained by sudden flight,
they, while their companions slept,
toiled upwards in the night
-- Happy Republic Day

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar in one hand and two quarters in the other,
then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar?"


The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"


Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself.

After lunch with Friends, I didn’t go back to work – I had made an appointment to go and donate blood. The blood donating camp was setup in our pantry. I had never given blood before, and so I was a little apprehensive. But I found it to be a very spiritual experience. Following the form filling and answering various questions, all I had to do was to lie quietly on a bed like chair while a very attentive nurse sensitively carried out the simple procedure. The nurse told me that very less percentage of the our population donate blood, and that the level of blood stocks in the country would only last for about one week. She also said that within a couple of hours my blood could be being used in transfusions on the hospital wards. I was completely at ease, and I felt happy to be doing just this very small thing (I only donated just under a pint of blood) so that I could help someone else in need. I regretted having never donated blood before. I remember a number of years ago, as a rather self-centered student at university, being asked to donate blood, and I refused. I am very sorry I did that. This small piece of work lifted my head to the gentle call to empathise with others, and to lend the helping hand of Friendship whenever possible. And I’d like to thank Friends for helping me see this and begin to put this into practice. My feelings turn to the spiritual life-blood, a well-spring that provides nourishment and refreshment whenever we need it. It is freely ministered to us all, whenever we turn inwardly to, and wait upon it. It is the free gift of Light, and by allowing the Light to guide, teach, and transform us, in Spirit, Love and Truth, we may be able to feel the gift of Peace that everyone deserves to experience. And this should be cherished and nurtured.

Dad wanted me to prepare a profile which he can circulate with his friends and relatives. So I created this..

About Myself:

Name : Dhanjay Singh
Age : 27
Date of Birth : 23rd Aug 1979
Height : 5 Feet 8 inch (173 Cms)
Weight : 69 Kgs
Body Type : Average
Blood Group : O positive
Complexion : Fair
Star : Poorvashada
Gothra : Kashyap
Raasi : Dhanu (Sagittarius)

Education : M.C.A, University of Hyderabad. 2003
Occupation : Senior Software Engineer
Company : Sierra Atlantic, Banjara Hills, Hyderabad
Annual Income : 6 Lacs
Monthly Gross : 45,000/-

Religion : Hindu
Caste : Kurmi - Awadhiya
Mother tongue : Hindi

Contact No : --
E-mail : dhanjay@gmail.com
Blog : http://dhanjay.blogspot.com
Web : http://www.dhanjay.bravehost.com

Family Details

Father Name : Ramjeevan Prasad
Occupation : Welder (Singereni Colleries, Adilabad, Andhra Pradesh)
Mother Name : Shanti Devi
Occupation : Housewife
Brother : Sanjay Singh (Married)
Sister : Rita Sinha (Married)

Friends Suggest me what else I can add :)

I have been waiting for you for years,
And now here you are, in my life I stand before you as a simple plain man,
I don’t expect much from you…
Except for you to be yourself and give me the pleasure of being your companion,
All through life, every day and every night…

I do not have material wealth to give you, but I have myself to offer
I will love you with all that I have and more...
I will nurture and take care of you...
I will nurse you while you are sick and heal you from your wounds…
I will be there for you when you are down and celebrate with you at your highs

But, I do have to tell you my dear, probably things you wish not to hear from me…
This soul in front of you is not innocent nor am I ignorant about a lot of things…
For life has taught me the hard way …
these lessons that make me who I am
And motivate me to love you the way I do…

I have to confess darling,
you weren’t the first one I promised to offer my love to,
They were at times when I was young and immature and I made mistakes…
Just like everybody else…

But I believe that life has its way of showing me to you
After I have been bruised and hurt by people..
I’m stronger now to not shy away from the quandary that love has to present…
And now im willing to take it on as bold as I have never been in my life
I believe that's life's way of making me prepared for the life we begin together...
For your sake, for the sake of love…

Trust me, you know not what I have in store for you,
I might not shower a lot of fancy things or tell the world how much you mean to me…
But, I hold you so close to me , where I'd give you my whole world…
Which I will guard you with against rain and storm…
Against all the odds and evil…

No, my dear I will not ask you for promises about our commitment,
For I know the marriage has already happened…
We are now, one and together…
I love you so much that I will let you be…
And we will break free and walk the road of life together…
We will face the calm and chaos as a duo …
We will learn and love the world as partners…
And we will travel the universe as companions…

I pledge to make you happy and love you every single day of our life together…
I promise to you give you the honor of becoming a mum…
And together we will raise lovable children …
…you and I will always be together…
Nothing and no one can change that my baby…

There will be a time…when I have to leave…
I pray I do before you for I cannot stand facing the world without you by my side …
without you for me to offer my love to…
But, at that time…
remember that I will die thinking of you...
you will be the last thing on my mind...

The only honor I want to be remembered for is…
That I died as someone who was loved by you...

I truely love you...

Its about forgetting the "I".................. And still having your identity
Its about uniting as "We" .................. And attaining the sanctity

hmm..... wonderful is it not? read on.....



Its neither about who'll earn the bread
Nor about who'll bake it
Its neither about who'll wash the dish
Nor about who'll flake it
Its neither about who'll dig the lawn
Nor about who'll rake it

Its neither about which home you'll dwell
Nor about who'll elect it
Its neither about which stock you'll invest
Nor about who'll select it
Its neither about which car you'll drive
Nor about who'll inspect it

Its all about the chemistry you have
And how soon, you'll attain it
Its all about the concern you share
And how well, you'll sustain it
Its all about the empathy you enjoy
And how long, you'll retain it.

Its all about the wrong you admit
And how gladly, you'll correct it
Its all about the loosing trust you see
And how willfully, you'll resurrect it
Its all about the other's imperfection
And how knowingly, you'll respect it

Its about forgetting the "I".................. And still having your identity
Its about uniting as "We" .................. And attaining the sanctity

Terms and Conditions:-
"Blah Blah Blah". Its natural tendency to switch off, and for some crazy, f*ing reason it happens rather often when I am talking (Yes, I can hear you say : You talk too slow and you talk too much!). I am fairly used to "blank, lost , pretending to hear faces" by now. Blogs therefore are a boon to my category. Coz 'you' can choose not to read!! Comments inspired by the length and dryness of this post will not be entertained!


Its nice to start with a warning, more so when you intend to span your life in one post!! Rather scary? I'll agree. Rather jobless? On the contrary its "shit load of work" that makes you look back and brood, that makes you wonder if you were better off back then. I decided to post a mixed bag, some crazy, some trivial and some rather significant exploits. And what better classification than age! So here we go,

Ages 0-3

Are you kidding??? NO MEMORIES!!


Ages 3-6

Had the largest number of toys any kid ever had! Remember Sho mam, taking us to toys room, which has lots of cupboards with lots of toys. Spent the best time in life so far, with no worries. These words describe the best :

Phir se milne ki takdeer mil jaaye
Jeene ke haseen pal mil jaaye,
Chal phirse banaye sagar pe ret ka makan,
Shayad wapas apna bachpan mil jaaye.

Ages 7-11

Graduated from not being top ranked in the class to flunking every single test and every single exam!( With intentions of scraping some dignity back--- Telugu was the culprit, Ummaji mam tried best to get things right, but me fails to.

Backed out last minute from a school drama. I then realized I was infact made for bigger things. I was there to change people, change the world!

And yes, before I forget to mention I also won a second prize in my acamedics(6th and 7th), first being my best friend Amar, who had a habit of winning all the competitions!!! I swear!

Made a bunch of girl friends, no matter what. No McDee's, No Cornetto, But lots of, lots of fun at school.

Ages 12-13


Slogged my ass off in 8th as both the sections were combined to inch in to the top list of the class again. Motivation? A need to be noticed and since I couldnt possibly be the coolest in class, prided myself in being the nerdiest. Fell in luv with the girl next door (guess??), but didnt find any guts to express. oh my first luv of its kind. she was the cool and silent person in my class!

Had a gr8 teacher, Raju Sir, How can I forgot? I was a silent admirer.

Another gr8 friend and foe, malli, shared lots of crazy stuff, never say enuff, coz luv the thoughts.



Ages 14-16


Teachers were changed, Safee sir, etc, loved it, was still a nerd! But on the brighter side, life wasn't so stagnant anymore!

Couldn't get myself to like any girl, I believed I was way too good for "all" of them..(Haha!!) So, I just cooked one up to have a crush on. Didnt want the girls thinking I am wierd!

Still, my earliest memories of flirting are from this period! What can I say, it was second nature to me ;)

Had tough times spending time reading subject books. Can only able to make my neighbor girl as a gf. Howzzzzaathat!!!

Ages 17-18

Couldn't help adding a special note to this one. Was it the fun? Or was it the age? I'd say it was the friends! This goes out to them! Love yall!!

Ate lots of lots of stuff every single day of the year through out class 11th and 12th! Ate 5 meals every day!! Never put on an ounce...42kgs!!!

Acquainted myself to the teenage culture!

Played a zillion pranks on everyone! Till day they call me the mean one!!

Still believed I was too good for "most"! Well, a couple of dates and no more! Do you believe it? Some things never change!

Ages 19-21

(Quiet a few here, keep counting)

Got lost in luv with my crush - classmate, planned the future, about marriage, kids, blah blah,,,,. Believe its altogether wonder world, enjoyed the era with tiny winy jerks. Got apart with her after couple of months, on argue with some unusual stuff. Realised with my miss-take, used sticks lit with kerosene to find our way back! I mean, came to Hyd, With lots of help from kitti's and other members, cleared my graduation subjects, got into prestige HCU.

Got mugged or did I? I guess I'll let Amar and Kiran tell you more abt this...what say guys? Leave a comment!! And remember I get to audit it, so be fair!

Carried all my clothes back and forth between HCU and RKP at the end of every single semester!!

Had lots of fun during university days. KK, Meher, Korada, Naresh, Vamsi, Kasturi, Vijay,, the list goes on and on.

The funnest(is that really a word??) three years ever! Party, holidays, movies, bikes, hostel and the works!! And the best friends! Miss you guys a ton!

Ages 22-23


I am not sure how I'd like to tag these years. To me it has been a multitude of realizations, some I am grateful for and some I could have surely done without! I had been toying with the idea making this one an "I realized" post, but that made me feel so OLD!!! A very BAD idea indeed! So I decided to stick to the norm! With few stupid "I realized" statements in between ofcourse.

Got fractured my right leg, in an unusual accident. Operated my leg at NIMS, Doctors inserted german rod in my leg, which I carry till now. Spent around eight months in Bed with terrible pain, although spent some gud fun time with nurses at NIMS.

Got selected for Sierra Atlantic, a MNC with a gud package.

Cleared my backlogs, and got the last sem project under KNM, narri as project mate.
Learnt Telugu grammer atlast, as working on anusaraka for sem end project.

Realized not all students from reputed organizations are smart, most are just nerds. Also that non-boring, good looking engineers don't exist.

Started reading this book called "1984 by George Orwell". Watched the best movie "The Silence of the Lambs".

Done 101 pradakshana's at chilkur balaji temple for my job's mannat.

Got stuck 3 whole hours in traffic and while it was raining!

Spent Rs3000 a month on autorickshaws.

Enjoyed the first days of Company with my university mates turned collegues, rakesh, arun, meher, vijay, aastha and raghu.


Ages 23- to almost 24

Learnt to cook...well atleast a lil bit...

Put on 4kgs in 4 months!!!

Started reading book called "Catch 22".

Reached new levels of nerdism!

Got Honda Activa, my way of transport to office.

I can't lie, life's been good to me. Some things have changed and some remain the same. There are a few constants in my life and I am grateful for those. And the variables, well..I am grateful for those too. Ups and downs, but ups mostly. Smiles and tears, but smiles mostly. Love and hate but love mostly. Well..so far so good!

Ages 25-26

I guess there's a part 2 afterall!!

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you?
Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Your so boring, if you threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back to you!
Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.
I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids.As I said before, I never repeat myself.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then, what exactly are the others here for?

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.


Signed - Project Leader


A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER:

"That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11,
13) for my true assessment of him."

Aansoon ko aankhon ki dehleez par laya na karo
Apne dil ki haalat kisi ko bataaya na karo
Log muth-thi bhar namak liye ghooma karte hain
Apne Zakham kisi ko dikhaaya na karo

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.

Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."

Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

For Example : Can I work on this project while I'm on vacation..........?

"Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart."

1.If all the nations in the world are in debt (i am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)

2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)

3.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)

4.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)

5.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)

6.Can you cry under water? (let me try)

7.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (i think they meant something else)

8.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)

9.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)

10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)

11.What does OK actually mean? (olli kuchi)

12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight i will stay and watch)

13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed)

14.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)

15.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)

16.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )

17.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)

18.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isnt it)

19.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)

20.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (i dont have a chance to try)

21.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)

22.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice)

23.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)

The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach--waiting for a gift from the sea.

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Reached

Date: 03 May 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.

I've just reached and have been checked in.

I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter.

Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits
don't eat foxes!"
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes,
gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and
resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit
returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to
typing.!

Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."

Bear: "Well that's absurd!
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.


Moral:IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS. WHAT MATTERS IS WHO YOU HAVE FOR A SUPERVISOR.

In the context of the working world:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU.
-------------------------------------------------

Two camels (a mother and a baby) were lazing around, when suddenly baby camel said.
Baby: "mother, mother, can I ask you some question?"
Mother: "sure! why son, is there something bothering you?"
Baby: "why do camel have humps?"
Mother: "well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water."
Baby: "okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded."
"Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert. You know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone", said the mother proudly.

Baby: "okay, said baby camel. "then why are our eye lashes long?
Sometimes it is bothering my sight." said baby camel.
Mother: "my son, those long thick eye lashes are your protective cover.
They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind." Said mother camel with eyes brimming with pride.
Baby: "I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes protects my eyes from the desert. Then what the hell are we doing here in a zoo???

The Moral of the Story :
Skills, Knowledge, Abilities and Experience are only useful if the
management gives oppurtunity!!
-------------------------------------------------

It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm. But it's a very complicated mechanism, and
your great claws will only destroy it even more"
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great
claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.
Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken! "
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no
way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV"
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene: Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral:
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A SUPERVISOR IS FAMOUS, LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS
SUBORDINATES.

In the context of the working world:
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED, LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it"“In order to be something you've never been, you have to do something you've never done.” --Aaron Hogue

"Persistence is what makes the impossible possible, the possible likely and the likely definite".

"For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness."

A little girl and her father were crossing a flimsy bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."

The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What's the difference?" asked the puzzled father.

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold urs...

One bug, two bugs, tar bugs, su bugs,
grep bugs, mew bugs, old bugs, new bugs.
This bug has a little hack,
This bug has a broken stack.
Say! What a lot of bugs to track.
Yes, some are in tar, and some in su.
Some are old. And some are new.
Some in sed, and some in jed.
And some are even in parted.
Why are they in parted, jed and sed?
I do not know. Bugs should be dead!
Some in jpeg, and some in TIFF
This TIFF one has an attached diff.
From there to here, from here to there
Test release bugs are everywhere.

-- From the Fedora Core 2 Release Notes.

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court."

These are things people actually supposed to have said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm
while these exchanges were actually taking place.



Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.

Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.


Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't
know about it until the next morning?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere

A professor stood before his Philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life."

The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.

"The sand is everything else--the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

"The same goes for life."

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Play with your children.

Take time to get medical checkups.

Take your partner out to dinner.

Play another 18.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.

Set your priorities.

The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked, "It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a cup of coffee with a friend."

So, friends know about life and enjoy the time. It is always a one time chance to live.

A Trainee, a Software Programmer and their Manager are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"

So the eager Software Programmer shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. Pfufffff, and he was gone.

Now the Trainee could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. Pfufffff, and he was also gone.

The PM calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 2.00pm"

Moral : "Always allow the boss to speak first"

GODISNOWHERE

This can be read as
GOD IS NO WHERE

or as
GOD IS NOW HERE

Everything depends on how you see anything.

So Think Positive!

1. Throw out nonessential numbers.This includes age, weight, and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends.The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)

3. Keep learning:Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle."An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with him or her!

6. The tears happen:Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourself.LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

May your all the deliveries be bug free in the coming year
May you raise more KRAs (Key Resource Areas) in the coming year
May you find more fatal defects in the coming year
May you get on-site opportunities as soon as possible
May your Boss stop assigning you work on Friday evenings
May your pay be the best among the industry
May you not learn many more languages in the near future
May you get flood of mails and forwards from everybody and lastly,
May you see a world beyond coding, reviews ,de-bugging and delivering.

Vsh U A Very Yappi New Year -- 2007 :)