Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care
of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a
water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You
never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just
too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux
rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own
jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If
someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than
enough. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your
face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one color for all
seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your
nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in
25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.