Comedy of errors...

Different Phases of a man:

After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
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There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it
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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of women"?
Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: "Everything
"and the book is titled: "What Women Want!"
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A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
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Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying &
the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
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Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence
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What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a
womanwho loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each
other!
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Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I have reason to suspect that my husband is
having an affair with his secretary."
Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"
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Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
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The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've found
aman just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do u want from me, sympathy?"
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When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
Answer : On their Wedding !!