I want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2008.

Because of your kindness:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for removing toilet stains.

I stopped eating apples for fear that it might have been cut by a fruit-seller having an open wound on his hands & is suffering from AIDS.

I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda , Singapore and Tokyo.

I also stopped drinking water outside for fear that I will get sick from the rat shit and urine.

When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.

My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, Ganesh Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc..

Now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)!

If ORKUT deletes my account, it doesn't matter BUT PLEASE DON'T SEND me "Orkut is deleting accounts: Due to sudden rush..." Otherwise I'll delete my E-Mail account!

I have daily checked my ATM balance to see if Bill Gates has shared some of his fortune with me for sending those crap "Bill Gates is sharing his fortune'' emails but nothing happened...


No Thanks & No Regards Whatsoever,
A Totally Frustrated Software Engineer

A little rabbit happily running through the forest stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a marijuana cigarette. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing opium, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, and then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to take a heroin shot... The rabbit says "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the hell out of the little rabbit.

As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"

The lion answers..... .....

.

.

"That little devil makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's high on cocaine!"

Friendship between women:

A woman didn't come home one night.
The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew anything about it.


Friendship between men:

A man didn't come home one night.
The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house.
The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer
who used to develop programs on his Pentium
machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a
river. He used to earn his bread by selling those
programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine
tumbled off the table and fell in the river.
Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his
childhood

( the woodcutter and the axe )

He started praying to the River Goddess. The
River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared
only after one month of rigorous prayers. The
engineer told her that he had lost his computer
in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty.
She showed him a match box and asked, "

Is this your computer ?

" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer
awareness, the engineer replied, " No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and
asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "

No, not at all !!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine
and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and
said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She
was about to give him all three items, but before
she could make the offer, the engineer asked her,
"Don't you know that you're supposed to show me
some better computers before bringing up my own?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I
know that, you stupid donkey! The first two
things I showed you were the Trillennium and the
Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So
saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

********


Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology
trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and
let people think you're a genius than to open
your mouth and remove all doubt.